We will never, ever forget our darling wife and mother. And we will always love her.
Next page
We want to create a permanent online memorial to our Bobbie. And am starting it today with the memories of yesterdays service which gave us so much comfort as to the eternal rest and peace her spirit is now enjoying.
We will add to this page as we feel able in the weeks and months ahead.
Funeral
Bobbie always knew Bryan's favourite weather, (especially for walking), is strong gales and lashing rain. And that was the weather we encountered heading to the Crematorium where around 80 people had gathered to pay their respects to this much loved woman.
As we followed her body into the chapel "New Every Morning Is the Love" was playing gently as a background.
Father Matthew Buchan, from the Leybourne Church of St Peter and St Paul, (our local Church), then led us through an uplifting service. Starting with the hymn closen by us, "All Things Bright and Beautiful".
Prayers and the start of the formal funeral service words were followed by Father Matthew reading the "Good Samaritan" passage from Luke 10. Words so suited to Bobbie and words that linked perfectly to the tribute written by ourselves.
Bobbie was the most loving and caring wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend imaginable. She always thought of others before herself and she devoted herself to those around her.
She started life as a Surrey girl. The very early loss of her mother soon found her father Bob re marry, taking Marje as his new wife. Not surprisingly in those early post war years Bobbie’s childhood was sometimes difficult but she came though that and never dwelled on it. She was never far away from where she grew up, moving to the neighbouring Sussex following her first marriage.
She met Bryan in November 1972 when she had been become single again, and there was immediate and totally permanent love between them. A love that will last for eternity.
Daughters Tracy and Suzy followed quite soon after and gave a good focus for the tender love and care that Bobbie showed to all she knew.
A home loving woman, she still accompanied Bryan on some of his endless wanderings to Europe and then South Africa. And frequently blessed his solo trips, staying back at home so she could fulfil all that she saw as her very many responsibilities.
Those responsibilities saw her fully embracing the motherhood of her two daughters, and extended to helping others as she saw the need. Her voluntary work in the office of Leybourne Church of England School did become a paid part time job, but Bobbie started that work so she could respond to the wonderful education the school had given Tracy and Suzy. Her main paid work having been as a railway clerical officer some years before.
She had always kept in touch through visits and other means with her parents. But the loss of her father some fourteen years ago, again demonstrated the incredible love Bobbie showed to others. She took on the task of caring for her step mother in the most kind and loving way possible. Her care duties increasing as Marje, now 94 years old, became housebound. Weekly visits to take her shopping to her, a nightly phone call to ensure loneliness played no major part in Marje’s life, and increasingly taking on all those tasks Marje could no longer manage including arranging carers to visit daily.
Bobbie stayed remarkably healthy all her life, but as we have now seen she was an expert at hiding her feelings to even those closest to her. Hiding them so she could always be the one seen to be strong and available to care for others. When depression and stress ended Bryan’s career she provided the love, tenderness and care that guided him back to a fulfilling life.
All seemed well for Bobbie’s future until the operation she had in summer 2006 seemed to bring to the surface what we now see as long term suppressed tensions. A brighter spell earlier this year was so sadly short lived and her downward path started in mid summer last year.
But it is not on those last few months that we want to dwell today.
It is of the most loving, caring and tender woman imaginable that we think of and remember.
Our Bobbie, who never intentionally would say or do anything that would hurt someone else.
Our Bobbie that we reverently hope and pray is now resting in peace and whose loving spirit will be with us for ever.
For many years Bobbie had carried a short and very well know written passage in her filofax. She sent it to friends who had suffered a bereavement. It was so approporiate that Father Matthew should be asked to read this passage at Bobbie's own funeral service.
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped into the next room.
I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word it always was. Let it be spoken without the trace of a shadow on it. :life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is no unbroken continuity. Why should I be left out of mind because I am out of sight. I am somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well.
We next sang the Hymn "Love Devine All Loves Excelling". Chosen particularly for the words in the last verse:-
Finish then thy new creation
Pure and spotless let us be
Let us see thy great salvation
Perfectly restored in thee
Changed from glory into glory
Till in heaven we take our place
Till we cast our crowns before thee
Lost in wonder, love, and praise!
Father Matthew then finished the service by reading the committal. Words that gave us total confidence that such a lovely and loving person as Bobbie will rest in eternal peace in the Kingdom of Heaven.
We suggested donations to Mind because of the illness that had effectively taken Bobbie from us. But always knew there would flowers for such a flower loving woman. We have taken the flowers home, (above), to enjoy them. When they fade they will be composted and used as a mulch around a Cherry Blossom Tree we are going to plant in our garden at home in memory of Bobbie.
Continued
Rest in Eternal Peace.
Our darling Bobbie, we will love you for ever and ever.
Bryan, Tracy and Suzy
A Memorial for Bobbie
Yesterday, 11th February, was the funeral of Bobbie's mum, Marje. Regardless of what the death certificate said, Marje died of a broken heart at losing the Bobbie who had spent so many years caring for her.
I found the funeral much harder to cope with than that of Bobbies. Simply because the person who had given so much time and energy to look after Marje wasn't with us.
But I took great comfort from the fact that, by a pure coincidence, at the time of Marje's funeral service in Surrey, the Cherry Blossom tree that I had bought in memory of Bobbie was being planted in our garden back in Kent. A tree that should blossom from late Autum to early Spring and a tree that should grow and blossom only a few yards from where Bobbie left this world. Blossoming in future years, (I hope), over the period in which Bobbie died, in a garden that would otherwise have no colour at that time.
A new composting bin has been installed in our garden and Bobbie's funeral and other flowers are now being placed in it. To form a mulch to put around the Cherry Blossom tree planted in Bobbie's memory. Giving life to the tree from the death of those lovely colourful flowers.
A photo of the tree in it's very young and small state will appear here soon.
Bobbie's love of flowers and her memorial tree
The tree to remember Bobbie, (photo here soon), has been planted at the right hand end of this flower bed. This is part of the garden where Bobbie had worked with Rod Thompson, (who has been helping us improve our garden), to get a much better colour display. As seen in July 2007
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